Life List #20 – I made a quilt! Just don’t look too close

Perhaps one of the lessons learned in crossing things off of a life list is that not all pursuits of life-long interests are going to be a smashing success. And while I’m doing my best to reserve final judgment on my potential role as a quilter after only making one baby quilt, let’s just say this wasn’t a triumphant experience.

After having a great time at the basic sewing class at Home Ec in Silverlake, I decided to enroll in their three part beginning quilting class which involved the making of a baby quilt.

Allow me the small digression to point out the irony that economics were a large part of my interest in quilting. In theory, I should be able to make a beautiful, full size quilt at a fraction of the retail cost. But learning is apparently expensive. Given the cost of the class itself PLUS all the materials…let’s just say I easily could have purchased a new full sized quilt.

Ouchie money part aside, I proceed to gather the materials I need and prepare my fabric strips for the first day of class. This part was actually fairly easy (especially with a handy dandy rotary cutter) and kind of fun! I feel I’m off to a good start!

Class Number One: Sewing Machine from Hell, Anxiety and a Hangover

I start off on the wrong foot by overindulging in a few hefty glasses of red wine the night before and arrive to class with a naggy wine headache. Despite that I’m excited to be there and ready to start. We are instructed to lay out our pieces of fabric in a design we want the finished product to be. Easy enough. Quilting is easy! Then we are sent off to our sewing machines. This pretty much marks the end of my free ride. I’ve only taken one class and I can’t recall how to properly thread this retched machine. I anxiously await help from the instructor which sets me behind my fellow classmates. Finally, the machine gets set up and I’m back on track. I start sewing and….JAM. Argh. Remove fabric, untangle mess, try again. Sewing, sewing…JAM. This happens repeatedly. I again attempt to flag down the instructor who is busy chatting about her day job. It doesn’t help that I can’t remember her name. “Um….teacher??” I decide maybe I should rethread my machine. Again…setting me behind and making me nervous (which is agitating the wine headache). Rethreading works and I complete my first sewing task.

Our next step induces such anxiety that it literally makes my hands shake. We are supposed to cut our fabric pieces to an exact length and width. Which sounds easy enough until suddenly you are faced with rulers and lines and flashbacks of high school geometry (which I definitely did not excel in) and all you can think is OMG WHAT IF I CUT IT WRONG AND RUIN IT??? At this point I start to think maybe quilting isn’t for me. I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing experience? I cut the strips to the best of my ability, am sent back to the evil machine to sew the strips together, and mercifully, our first class comes to an end. I go home. Drink more wine.

Class Number Two: Survival and Success!

I approach the second class in sheer survival mode. I do something that isn’t very nice…I sit at a different machine. While everyone else is gravitating back to their spots from the previous class, one poor girl is forced to sit at the evil machine because I got there first. But did I have jamming problems? Nope. Not once. I spent the remainder of class avidly avoiding eye contact every time I heard her machine sputter and cough.

Our second class is all about quilting! We sandwich the top of the quilt to the back with the batting inside, and smother it with pins to keep it in place. Then away we go! This is what I was most looking forward to. The whir of the machine, the fabric moving beneath my hands, and line by line the pieces of fabric magically turning into a quilt! My confidence restored, I stop short a few inches once our time runs out but our instructor assures us that we can finish the quilting part the final week. We have lots of time! Phew…maybe I’m not the Quilt FAIL I was worried I would be.

Class Number Three: Disappointment

I arrive at the final class feeling good about my work and excited to walk out later with a fully completed quilt. My first setback comes when the instructor looks at my piece and says “Oh, you need to finish quilting? Um, OK…” But Stupid Lady you said we could finish this week!!!! Aw, hell. Now I’m feeling rushed. About a half hour later I finish and…DRAMATIC THUNDEROUS MUSIC…we have to cut. AGAIN. Lord help me. If I had anxiety with cutting the pieces imagine now the anxiety of cutting a fully quilted….quilt. My shakes return. I cut as instructed but my inferior geometry skills have slightly reduced the intended size of my piece. Oh, well. I repeatedly remind myself that this is my first quilt ever, so maybe I should go easy on myself.

Finally we reach the last part of the quilting process: the binding. And, I am not kidding, but the use of a calculator was required in this step. Did I miss something? Should I have taken a refresher math class before attempting to quilt?? Apparently math is needed in order to equate exactly the length and width you should cut your binding pieces. OK. I compute, I cut, I iron, I bind. But something is amiss. Even the teacher is confused when I bring it to her. When I cut my binding pieces I had two strips of the right size and then the leftover fabric. Any guesses as to what I sewed onto my quilt? Uh huh…one correct size and one friggin’ scrap. So my only option was to rip out the scrap and sew on the correct piece. I’m miles behind everyone else and at this point I just can’t wait for it to be over. Binding is sewn on and now I’m told that the quilt has to be finished by hand. Basically, the binding is machine sewn around all the edges of the quilt and then you pull it back with your fingers and hand sew it into place. AT HOME. I leave class with mixed feelings and an unfinished quilt. Boo.

Two Months later: Finished yet Flawed

After mostly ignoring the quilt for a few months, I finally finish it! And, in the process, discover a multitude of additional mistakes. One of them being that I hadn’t quilted far enough up on a few spots so the quilting ends before it reaches the binding. And one part of my binding didn’t get quite sewn on all the way. None of this is detrimental. But I can’t help feeling like I didn’t get a solid educational experience from… “Teacher” (I still can’t remember her name). She repeatedly joked that she was what the quilting community refers to as a “Lazy Quilter,” which is funny and cute when you’re messing about but when I take home a quilt full of mistakes it makes me kind of mad.

So, will I ever quilt again? I honestly don’t know. I guess I took away enough of the basics to fiddle with it later if and when the next crafty mood strikes.

But in the mean time, check out my cute little TV cozy:

Product Review: The Bar Method v. Tracy Anderson Smackdown!

In my younger days of working out, I never thought I could be the kind of person who exercised at home. There was always an inherent need to get out of the house and into a designated “Sweat Here” structure. But…people change. After being a frequent gym member for the better part of ten years I may have achieved Gym Burnout. I also think living and working in Downtown has a lot to do with it. By the time I walk home, I have absolutely no desire to change my clothes and then get into my car and fight my way through traffic to go work out. If you’re already in your car after work, it’s just easier.

I’m also willing to accept the fact that maybe I’m just plain lazy.

Laziness aside, the possibility that I could achieve a high level of fitness in the comfort of my abode had an obvious appeal. So I made the switch from gym rat to home fitness extraordinaire, and without further ado, I present to you my breakdown and ratings of two fairly popular fitness DVDs.

The Bar Method: “Change Your Body” and “Accelerated Work Out”

Length of time: About an hour

Special Equipment: A bar or chair (I use a Fluidity Bar…thank you Craigslist!), a mat, three to five pound weights, and a stretching strap or towel

Level of Difficulty: Moderate to High

Overall Rating: A+

I’ve been using these DVDs consistently for about six months. If you are at all familiar with The Bar Method, then you probably know that this workout can be DANG HARD. The standing thigh work makes your legs shake like they’ve never shaked before! After a couple of months I started getting strong enough to make it through (most) of the exercises without stopping. Even after using them consistently for six months, they are still challenging and I often experience some muscle soreness the day after. All the moves are highly concentrated and low impact, and in fact you don’t wear athletic shoes at all during the workout. The two DVDs are fairly similar in their level of difficulty, except for the arms which are much more challenging in the “Accelerated” workout. The founder of Bar Method, Burr Leonard, who is OMG-fantastic-amazing-looking for a woman in her 60s, leads both DVDs. I appreciate her calm demeanor (I’ve never been one for the overly enthusiastic or Drill Sergeant hosts). She occasionally throws in a couple cute little notes of encouragement like “This makes you look great in jeans!” during some of the tough parts. The two areas I feel I’ve seen the most change are my legs (mainly from the hip to the knee) and my abs. While during both workouts your heart rate does get elevated frequently, I would recommend you still supplement alternative forms of cardio a couple days a week. Overall, an exceptional work out DVD!

The Tracy Anderson Method: Mat Workout

Length of time: About an hour

Special equipment: Chair, mat, one to three pound weights

Level of Difficulty: Moderate to High

Overall Rating: B+

I’ve been flirting with buying this workout for a while. I’m usually wary of anyone or anything that is heavily celebrity endorsed (Madonna and Gwyneth and Oprah, oh my!). And her DVDs aren’t cheap. But I didn’t want to burn out on The Bar Method DVDs and figured I best bring something new into the rotation.

This is a pretty challenging routine. You start with a series of standing leg work, which seems to work the standing leg almost as much as the working leg! Then you do some funky “standing abs,” which involves moving your ribcage around in various movements while keeping your hips still. It’s…interesting. This is followed by the arm workout, and O…M…G, THE ARMS. The arm segment of this workout is probably worth the entire price of the DVD. The first half of it uses absolutely no weights, but involves following Tracy in a routine that has you sort of flapping and moving your arms about. If you can get through this whole thing without your arms collapsing like sad little noodles, you are superhuman! She does a second arm routine (are you kidding?) with light weights, of which I usually have to put down a couple of times and follow along weight-less. Seriously, I’ve never seen an arm workout like this before, and I’m impressed! The workout is rounded out with a second leg routine on the mat (finally the mat appears in this “Mat Workout!”), some ab work and a cool down. The abdominal section is probably my least favorite part of this entire DVD. I feel like the moves hit mostly the upper portion of your abs, when most of us feel that the belleh area on the lower side is what needs the most attention.

While I like this DVD, I have a couple of major beefs about it. First, she has virtually no audible cuing (kind of important when your head is between your knees and you’re supposed to know that we’ve moved on to side stretching) and almost no guidance on form. The cuing I can get over. After a couple of times you get used to the flow of the movements. But without a reasonable amount of guidance on form you can be at risk for not doing the exercise properly, causing you to either not get results from the workout or, even worse, injuring yourself. Even the angles of the camera work supply rather vague clues as to what she’s doing. So my advice to beginners of this workout is to pay acute attention to her body and the movements, and to stop if anything feels wrong.

So, in a head-to-head competition between The Bar Method and Tracy Anderson, Bar Method definitely wins. That said, I’m still happy to have Tracy in the mix for a little variety and challenge.

Book Review: The Good Earth

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Oh, wow. WOW did I not enjoy this book. Like. At all.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and ask, why? Why for the love of Pete is this book considered a classic? Ok, I get that the concept of a white woman giving voice to a Chinese man in the 1930s is fairly ground breaking. And maybe there are a handful of people out there who thought all women were treated nicely by their male counterparts in China (Spoiler: They Aren’t). But apart from those two possibilities, I see no reason for this book to be included in any kind of must-read list of literary classics.

For those of you looking for a truly depressing story and plan on reading it, allow me to offer a few pointers. First, just approach it knowing that the story is not uplifting. And by not uplifting I mean astoundingly amazingly unbelievably depressing. If you read along hoping for somebody in the end to leap out and give every nasty person their comeuppance, you will be disappointed. There may even be some scratching of the head and furrowing of the brows. Secondly, be advised that if you read this book before you go to bed and then wonder as to why you are inexplicably livid with your boyfriend/spouse/partner the next day, it is probably the book (especially when you get to the part with the pearls…oh, don’t even get me started). As a strong, independent woman, you will want to hunt the fictional male character down and hurt him. Hurt him bad.

I hate to say “Don’t read this book.” Instead, I’ll just say, “Approach at your own risk, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

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Mighty Life List #8 - Budgeting: Month Four and Still Figuring it Out

Budgeting. Does it suck? Yeah. Is it hard? Yeah. But like taking vitamins and flossing, you kinda need to do it.

There are several different ways of putting a budget together. My own approach to it was to use large percentages (i.e., 60% of your income toward life expenses, 20% Savings, 20% Fun Money), and then break each one down into subcategories. If you’re looking for help and some solid advice, I highly recommend www.learnvest.com. They will literally walk you through the process of putting a budget together.

Here are some things I’ve learned so far:

Take Advice but Modify Accordingly If you live in a big city, just be aware that some financial advice out there may need to be tweaked for your own living situation. Some suggested goals for rent and transportation can in no way be met if you live in LA or New York, especially if your job title doesn’t involve the letters “V” or “P.” So don’t give up. Just modify as much as you can.

Mini Monthly Goals Having a budget is like having mini-monthly goals. And that’s just what they are. Goals. So if you don’t quite meet your expectations for saving on your first (or second, or third) month, cut yourself some slack. Even if you only manage to stick $20 into that savings account, it’s better than nothing, and certainly better than being in the red.

Track Every Penny Tracking your expenses is a lot like counting calories. The effect of which can be extremely enlightening (har har no pun intended). You’ve probably heard of the “latte factor,” but it’s true that those little $2 to $3 expenditures can add up to a good chunk o’ cash over a month’s time. By writing down each and every penny you spend, you will become acutely aware of anything you’re spending money on. If you have a habit of looking back on your monthly statement and thinking “Oh, yeah, I forgot about that” (ahem), then tracking your spending will definitely take care of your financial amnesia.

Get Creative and Assertive Budgeting is a perfect opportunity to get creative, to become an active consumer, and to not let companies bully you. I went through a couple different phone calls with a spawn-of-the-devil cable company which shall not be named, eventually having to play the “I’m gonna have to cancel my cable because I can’t afford it” routine before they lowered my monthly cost to something halfway acceptable. Nearly everything is negotiable.

Your Personal Trouble Zones If anything, budgeting will help you zero in on your trouble areas. For me, it’s definitely food. If I cooked at home every single night, then it would make sense to spend lots of cash at the grocery store, and those random bits of parsley and wedges of onion in the fridge that were used for one home cooked meal wouldn’t get tossed out. But cooking every night isn’t really feasible (I have some semblance of a social life and a Mighty Life List to conquer!). So I’m still figuring out the tricky balance of spending just enough money on food, without going over budget and without wasting. Point being, budgeting is and should be viewed as a constant work in progress. Challenge yourself to meet and exceed the goals in your budget!

Book Review: The Book Thief

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a stand-out novel in the World War II genre, Young Adult or not. The story is not something we haven’t heard (many times) before, but the presentation is truly unique and I dare you not to fall in love with each and every character. If I had one criticism, it might be that Zusak attempts to employ one too many creative devices, which occasionally distracts from the beautifully crafted storylines and the people in them. But for such a delicate yet heavy subject, Zusak artfully balances sensitivity and reality, creating a beautiful, haunting, and deeply moving story.

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Alton Brown’s “The Chewy” Chocolate Chip Cookie: Get off your butt and make these NOW

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  In pursuit of my “ultimate” recipes a la Mighty Life item #92, I’ve been perusing the interwebs for some time in search of the best chocolate chip cookie. And I mean, not just a good cookie, but the kind where you take a bite and you get a little weak in the knees. This, my friends, is that cookie.
  
  I’ve done the tried and true Nestle back-of-the-bag recipe a number of times. And it’s good, to be sure, but a little flat and a little greasy in my opinion. I’ve tackled the NY Times famed chocolate chip cookie recipe a few times, which includes the rather unorthodox use of a cake/bread flour combination, in addition to a minimum 48 hour rest time in the refrigerator. I really liked the texture of this cookie, but I found the recipe to be somewhat inconsistent, not to mention the annoyance of having to plan your cookie baking two to three days out. Who does that?
  
  Enter the lovely and talented Joy the Baker, who pointed me to the path of chocolate chip cookie enlightenment. Alton Brown’s “The Chewy” chocolate chip cookie (he has “The Thin” and “The Puffy” alternatives in case you were wondering). These cookies are damn good.
  
  A couple of notes regarding the recipe:
  
   Because you begin the recipe with melted butter, it’s important to let the dough chill for a couple of hours. So watch a movie, go for a walk, or work on that novel you’re writing. But don’t rush this process.
  
   Don’t be afraid to pull them out when they look slightly undercooked. The time frame between perfect and over-cooked in this recipe is pretty slim. You can always pop them back in for a few seconds. The saying goes, if they look cooked when you take them out, they will be overcooked.
  
   These cookies are EVEN BETTER THEN NEXT DAY. I love the taste of warm, fresh cookies but something about the texture and flavor really shines after these have sat overnight.
  
  Next time…I’ll get all crazy and add some nuts.
  
  The Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookie
  
  Recipe by Alton Brown
  
  2 sticks unsalted butter
  2 1/4 cups bread flour
  1 teaspoon kosher salt
  1 teaspoon baking soda
  1/4 cup sugar
  1 1/4 cups brown sugar
  1 egg
  1 egg yolk
  2 tablespoons milk
  1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
  
  Melt the butter in a heavy-bottom medium saucepan over low heat. (I actually did this in the microwave…just don’t overheat it)
  Sift together the flour, salt, and baking soda and set aside.
  Pour the melted butter in the mixer’s work bowl. Add the sugar and brown sugar. Cream the butter and sugars on medium speed. Add the egg, yolk, 2 tablespoons milk and vanilla extract and mix until well combined. Slowly incorporate the flour mixture until thoroughly combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.
  Chill the dough for a few hours, then scoop onto parchment-lined baking sheets, 6 cookies per sheet. Bake at 375 F for 14 minutes or until golden brown (mine took about 10 minutes), checking the cookies after 5 minutes. Rotate the baking sheet for even browning. Cool completely and store in an airtight container.
  

Book Review: Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Subject matter aside, I thought this was a very enjoyable book. Anderson's depiction of the hellish world of high school with its amusing teacher and student players was honest and entertaining without being too much a caricature of itself. The "secret" wasn't a surprise, but I don't think that's the point. The story has more to do with her journey back from silence and shame and finding her voice again. The parents drove me crazy. It seems absurd that any parent could be so completely clueless, but I know in reality it does happen. An easy read, with a very unique style of narration and an overall uplifting story. I highly recommend it.

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